Breastfeeding

Let me tell you what I know about Breast Feeding.
It sucks.
There are two schools of thought on breast feeding
and I have experienced both of them. The first
school of thought is that breast feeding is good
for the health of the child. Does that mean
physically or emotionally ? One of my wives that
breast fed thought that it would help the child
fight diseases because the child would be getting
the benefits of her immune system. She may have
been right, however, she was the wife that stayed
in the doctor's office so much that we had to buy
two four drawer filing cabinets for all of the
accumulated medical receipts. I considered her a
hypochondriac because she was always going to the
doctor, but was never ever really sick. The baby
might have gotten her good genes and immune system,
but he might have gotten her hypochondriac syndrome
along with inheriting a need to hate my mother.
That is an entirely and totally a different subject.
The other school of thought on this breast feeding
thing is the mother's desire to bond with the child.
I guess as a father I get to bond when I buy him a
car and give him money for gas. I accused my wife
of bonding way too long. At what age should a child
stop breast feeding? Her answer was that the child
decides. When the child feels that he is no longer
a baby and wants to be grown up, he will know,she said.
I said yes, because his first or second grade teacher
will be calling us to tell us that our son is thirsty.
I think that when a child can walk up to his mother,
unclasp her bra, get a drink, clasp her bra back, and
then go out and ride his bike, he can probably learn
to open the fridge door, pour the milk, drink it,
wash the glass, and then go out to play. I could be
wrong or as my wife would say, you are just envious.
I agree with her on that 100%. I never have been able
to just walk up to her and .....well, you know what
I am saying. Maybe I am just a tad bit jealous of this
breast feeding thing.