Hooters

Madam Rumor tells me that there is a Hooter's
coming to town. To be honest with you, I don't know if I am happy or
sad. On the one hand, I am glad we are getting a new restaurant
in town. Somewhere different to eat. My girlfriend says yeah,
that's about like you telling me that you read a certain girlie
magazine just for the stories.
Many of you have been to Hooters, I suppose. I hear the waitresses
wear skimpy outfits, with the tops being too low and the skirts
being too high. I personally would not know. I have never been
to a Hooters. Everything that I have heard about the restaurant
has been about the women. No one ever mentions food. They do have
food don't they? I can tell you right now my girlfriend is not
going to be wanting me staring at any girl's hooters or short
skirts. She and I have talked about this at length. No pun intended.
Her argument is this. What if there was a restaurant for women
called Torso's or T-Tops, or Briefs?
She says, would you want me to go there to eat? Would you want to
go with me ? Would you want me to be staring at some strange man
with spandex underwear while you are trying to eat your steak?
When you put it like that , it does sound repulsive. I was only
going to Hooter's and taking you with me, so that the Hooter
girls could see how beautiful you are, I say.
My intentions were never to go in there and gawk at those girls.
Pretty much this approach did not work either and that is why I
am saddened by the fact that Hooters may come to town and I will
be close, but probably will never enter the door.
It is sort of like the Garden of Eden.
You can look at the apple, just don't try to partake of it.

Yes, dear.